He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize