Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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