I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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