D3 body, D1 cock
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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