ya dads aren't the best wingmen
she smelled like a LAN party
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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