she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
