ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
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