Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
