Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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