yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
