So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
