Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
