That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
