Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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