ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize