What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
