KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
