How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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