Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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