dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
