Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
