I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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