I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
