That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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