Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Randomize
