Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
