his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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