Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
