i think i have herpe
just one?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
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