I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize
