my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize