so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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