It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
