I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
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And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
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He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
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