he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
