guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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