Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
