just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize