Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
