Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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