O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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