If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize