i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
