he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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