the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
