11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.