at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special