Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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