Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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