Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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