Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
