YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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