i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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