How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
