Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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