just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
