Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i just sent this text using only my big toe
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
