Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize