You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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