It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
she peed on how many people?
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
how drunk are you?
Several
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
