dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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