3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Randomize
