Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Randomize
