its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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