Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
